


Collateral Damage

by EeNii



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, Realization, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EeNii/pseuds/EeNii
Summary: Lance realised: reality is not always happy and what they do is not always good when one of the missions went wrong and left him suffering with guilty conscience.





	Collateral Damage

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. Ever. That got published on the internet...  
> Okay, I wrote some earlier for myself when I was 14, but I never published them.  
> Also, this is in English! Not my first language... So, really sorry for my grammar mistake. I tried. :'D
> 
> Enjoy~

The beginning of being a paladin was really exciting. Flying through galaxies, getting to know new species and exploring everything was really fun.

Saving the universe, that it is. What else could a young boy dream of? Even if they had really rough training and nerve wrecking fights, Lance loved this new chapter of his life. However, he missed his family and friends at home, he has a new family now and he thought his mother would be very proud of him. He was a hero, after all. He was saving innocents!

He thought this, until something went wrong.

The mission was simple. Get on the planet, fight off the Galran soldiers and save the natives. He never thought this would be different. How big he miscalculated.

He was all alone. Not a biggie. He didn’t need help for fighting with some Galran soldiers who ran towards him.

_He can do this._

Keith and Shiro would have been able to do this, so why not him. He shot down the first one that attacked.

_One down, three to go._

They were still far away and he was the team’s sharp shooter, after all. He shot the second and the third one, too. The problems begun to start when the last one reached him. He was really good at aiming for distant targets, fighting short distance is another question.

The Galran attacked him fast, he only could hold onto his shield. His thought was full of unnecessary things like everyone has when writing a test and couldn’t find the right answer even if it’s in front of our eyes. Only this time, this wasn’t a test and these thoughts could cost his life.

The Galran kept attacking when they reached a restricted area. Lance couldn’t move much so did the Galran soldier. That was when Lance held his shield in a different angle and the enemy’s knife dropped off from his hands. They had only a few tics to realize what happened and reach for the knife. Lance was the first one to grab it. He wasn’t wasting time, used it immediately. He stabbed his attacker and saved a little time to make a little distance between them. The knife hit the Galran at the right spot, he was bleeding strongly. He couldn’t move much.

Lance watched as his opponent crawled on the ground in pain. He took off his helmet to breathe while suffered hard.

At this point it was too disturbing for Lance.

He saw as the Galran looked at him, eyes full of tears. He cried. Then started to beg for his life. Blabbing about a family and how much he wanted to live. The screams scared Lance. He stepped away and started to lose the ground. He fell, eyes still on the Galran.

But it was over. He died, left Lance alone in confusion.

He never thought that the Galran soldiers had families, or did they even want to fight? They were scary and evil for sure. But they had their own life, too.

Lance was terrified of what had he done. He killed someone with cold blood. And he just realized this wasn’t the first time. He was sitting on the ground shivering in front of the body of the fallen. He couldn’t think anymore. Then he got pulled back to reality when someone shouted his name thought the comms.

“Lance! Lance, can you hear us?” Pidge shouted. Then Lance heard all of his teammates asking him what’s happened. They all gathered together while Lance was missing. He was the last one to get to the rendezvous point.

“I’m fine, guys. Just got a little bit held up. You know how it is when you are well known as a paladin of Voltron” Lance tried to be his usual himself and was trying to make some jokes. He didn’t feel they right but he didn’t want his teammates to know how distracted he was. They would have told him to get a grip on himself and be strong.

_They were soldiers, no time to cry._

 

***

 

Back in the castle everyone was talking about their last mission. Analysing what did they do wrong and what should they correct next time. Everyone but Lance. He listened as the others spoke and sometime he nodded or gave a sign that he was listening. But in reality, his mind was somewhere else. He was still thinking about the life he took.

“Lance, are you even listening?” Allura looked at him slightly angry. She doesn’t like when someone is not paying attention.

“Sorry. Yes. I’m just a little bit tired.”

“We are all tired Lance, but you need to concentrate.” She replied and continued her monologue. In the end, they stayed there for some more hours and when they were done, everyone left to do their stuff. Hunk was going to make dinner; Pidge probably went back to her room to make some tech stuff Lance couldn’t understand. Shiro and Keith were going to train some more. They just couldn’t get tired. Allura and Coran went back to the control room for whatever reason. Lance was the only one who left. He was sitting silently.

After a while he decided to go back to his room but someone was blocking his way out. It was Coran. Lance tried force a smile on his face but a really sloppy one. Coran always knew when something was off. Like this time. He grabbed Lance’s shoulders and pushed back to the room a little, making Lance to sit back to his chair.

“What’s the problem, son? I noticed something isn’t right.” Right to the point. That was Coran. He always knew. Coran sat next to Lance, and waited for the blue paladin to open up.

“N-nothing…” he stuttered.

“Come on! I see something is troubling you, Lance! You can’t hide it.”

“No, it’s really nothing, I was just tired.” Lance was trying to save himself then he added something Coran would believe. “I’m just missing my home. That planet reminded me of something. But it’s okay now.”

He smiled at Coran again then he left.

 

***

Everyone was sleeping when the castle’s alarm system turned on. There was loud beeping and red portentous light everywhere, telling the paladins to get ready. Their ship was under attack by a little galran fleet. No one knew how they find them; why were they attacking with only a few soldiers. But they were in a battle again and their life depended on how quick they could react.

The enemy’s attack seemed more powerful than everyone would have imagined. The walls rambled as the galran soldiers made their way to the centre of the castle. Minutes later they were already in the castle searching for the crew.

The paladins hadn’t had enough time to make their way to their lions. Not just that they hadn’t any time, they couldn’t even fight with them in the castle’s narrow spaces. So, they were only one option left. Fight to the galra face to face.

While the paladins were fighting on the corridors, Allura and Coran made their way to the control room, activated the defence and tried to get rid of the alien ships. In the meantime, Shiro made sure to tell everyone their tasks while he could reach them through the comms. Unfortunately, in a fight you would never know what is going to happen. Shiro prepared for the worst.

“Pidge, Hunk, go to the lions and protect them!” shouted Shiro into his comm. “Keith, Lance, you protect the western part of the castle. I go to the east. Allura and Coran will be okay, they are already in position. I don’t know how they found us but we need to stop them before it’s too late!”

Their commands were simple. _So was the last mission_ , thought Lance ironically. He had flashbacks of the last time they faced the galra. He felt nauseous again, and he was sweating like he was next to a burning sun. This nerve wrecking situation was the last thing he ever wished for.

Keith and Lance were hiding in a well-protected spot when the first soldiers showed up. There wasn’t many of them, yet enough to give Lance the chills. He didn’t want to use his bayard but at the same time he didn’t want Keith to see how different he became. So he had a brilliant idea. He was planned to aim for the legs and arms of the soldiers. They would be alive yet defeated, then later they could drop them off on a planet far away. _Lance, you are a genius._

So this thought on his mind Lance started to fire while Keith held the shields.

“Stay behind me. I’m better at long distance than you. If they get close, they are yours.” _But I won’t let them to come to us._ Lance got back some of his confidence, he was able to shot more lightly than he was before.

Through the comms he heard the others. Pidge and Hunk made sure the lions were safe, Shiro cleaned the eastern side and moved to the south. Allura and Coran held back the galran ships. Everything seemed okay until a bomb exploded next to Keith and Lance. They didn’t know how the bomb get there but the blast was powerful.

Lance couldn’t hear anything but ringing, his vision wasn’t clear, his head hurt like hell and his shoulder felt off. Keith was in the same shoes. His head was bleeding and he was on his knees trying to get a hold on himself. Their cover was destroyed and they were fully exposed to the enemy’s fire. Keith moved quickly to get one of the shields. If he would have been a second late, they would have died in the gunfire.

“Lance! Are you alright?” He shouted as he blocked the galran’s attacks. “You need to pull yourself together and fire those bastards”

Lance snapped back to reality and got a grip on his bayard. He aimed then shot, at least this was what he believed. But nothing has happened. He only imagined the gunfire. He aimed for real but his hands were shaking and couldn’t move an inch.

Keith realized that Lance was frozen, so he grabbed Lance’s bayard and gave a warning fire right before he left the shield’s safe zone and went berserker. He killed all the attacking galra, clearing the place. When everything was safe again he turned to Lance. He was angry. He was furious.

“What the hell Lance?? Why didn't you shoot? What were you afraid of? Why are you so useless?”

Keith’s harsh words was like getting a cold shower. He failed the mission. He failed the team. He was too afraid to shoot that they almost died.

He was the worst.

**Author's Note:**

> I want him suffer. I'm a bad mother ;_;  
> Sorry, dear boy q.q :'D   
> Also, sorry for the shitty ending :'D It is harder to end a story than I imagined


End file.
